


Minseok and Lu Han’s No-Kiss List

by annie1017



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2016-03-12
Packaged: 2018-05-26 07:23:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6229084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annie1017/pseuds/annie1017
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lu Han and Minseok draft the first edition of the No-Kiss List in their junior year of high school. The two are sprawled out on the floor of Minseok’s living room, half way between the coffee table and the television. The list is Lu Han’s idea, like almost everything else in their friendship. In retrospect, Lu Han always is the one getting them into dumb shit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Minseok and Lu Han’s No-Kiss List

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List; supposed to be a Very Serious fic but ended up as a romantic comedy. Crossposted on LJ

 

 

 **Minseok and Lu Han’s No-Kiss List**  
  
1\. 김준면  
2\. 김종대  
**3\. 도경수: 사탄**  
4\. 오세훈  
5\. 박찬열  
6\. 변백현  
7\. 张艺兴 장이씽 Zhang Yixing

 

  
  
  
Lu Han and Minseok draft the first edition of the No-Kiss List in their junior year of high school. The two are sprawled out on the floor of Minseok’s living room, half way between the coffee table and the television.  
  
“For the sake of our friendship, these are people that neither of us are allowed to kiss,” Lu Han explains.  
  
The list is Lu Han’s idea, like almost everything else in their friendship. In retrospect, Lu Han was always the one getting them into dumb shit.  
  
The first name to go on the list is Kim Joonmyun.  
  
“Who’s that?” Lu Han asks, sounding confused. Minseok can almost see the cogs in his brain working, racking his brains for any familiarity with that name. Is it someone from school? Someone from soccer?  
  
“You don’t remember Joonmyun sunbaenim?”  
  
Hearing sunbaenim seems to raise a flag in the back of Lu Han’s mind and he props himself up on his elbows, capping the black pen he had been doodling with.  
  
“He was student council president and a senior when we were freshmen,” Minseok continues. He can still picture the immaculate uniform, ever present sweet smile, and handsome face of the first person he had ever had a crush one.  
  
“Why the hell would I ever kiss him? I’ve never talked to him in my life and I don’t even know where he goes to college now,” Lu Han says, brows furrowed.  
  
Minseok shrugs. “You never know,” he says lightly.  
  
Lu Han is still skeptical. “Let’s say I do somehow meet Joonmyun sunbaenim again in the future. Why can’t I kiss him?”  
  
For a moment, Minseok doesn’t answer because it’s something that he’s never shared with anyone else before, including Lu Han, who has been his best friend since elementary school. When he speaks up again, his voice is softer than before. “First love,” he answers shortly.  
  
(They run into Joonmyun sunbaenim two years year later when he ends up as the TA to their intro government class in college. Joonmyun sunbaenim has grown to be even more attractive in the three years since they’ve seen him. Lu Han makes unnecessary catcalls and comments from their seats in the back of the class. Minseok is not pleased.)  


 

 

  
  
The second name on the list is soccer captain Kim Jongdae.  
  
Minseok looks down at the name Lu Han has written in his ugly, crooked scribbles and pouts.  
  
“Jongdae is kind of cute,” he grumbles. “I thought it was common knowledge that we both want to kiss him.”  
  
“Exactly, another reason why he’s off limits,” Lu Han says at once. “Besides, one of us is going to be team captain next year, and I don’t want Jongdae’s decision to be swayed by any external factors.”  
  
“External factors?” Minseok wiggles his eyebrows suggestively before getting hit in the face with a flying pen.  
  
(Jongdae ends up picking both Lu Han and Minseok to be co-captains for the soccer team when he graduates. Minseok makes sure to complain for weeks about how adding his name to the No-Kiss list had been such a waste of time, when one of them could have possibly been sucking face with Jongdae instead, preferably himself. Lu Han is not pleased.)

 

 

  
  
  
The third person on the list is Do Kyungsoo. This one is a mutual decision, because Kyungsoo is their close mutual friend.  
  
“Also, he can be kind of scary,” Lu Han says, picking up a red pen instead. “If one of us tried to kiss him, we might die.”  
  
Minesok agrees. When he leans over Lu Han’s shoulder to read the list, he sees that Lu Han has written Kyungsoo’s name in bold.  
  
(Kyungsoo finds out about their No-Kiss List during their first year of college. He says it’s stupid and that they’re stupid too, until he finds out that he is included. When he sees that he has been labeled as Satan, he throws a fit and traps both Lu Han and Minseok in a headlock, one under each arm as he attempts to squeeze the life out of them. Kyungsoo is not pleased.)  


 

 

  
  
The list stays like that until their first year of college, where Lu Han gets stuck with lanky Oh Sehun as his roommate when Minseok gets a single.  
  
“You can’t kiss him,” Lu Han insists before Minseok even gets to meet the guy.  
  
That perks Minseok’s interest. “Why? Is he hot? Will I want to kiss him?”  
  
Lu Han snags a blue pen from Minseok’s desk and starts adding the new name. “If you kiss Sehun, I’m going to be the third wheel in my own room. I refuse to let that happen.”  
  
(When Lu Han finally lets Minseok meet his roommate, Minseok is disappointed to find that yes, Sehun is kind of hot, with model like features and sexy long legs. However, after getting to know him, Minseok realizes that Sehun is also a needy brat and thinks he may have dodged a bullet there.)  
  
  
  
Park Chanyeol and Byun Baekhyun are added to the list at the same time in their second year of college after Lu Han and Minseok have moved in together off campus.  
  
Minseok comes back to the room that he shares with Lu Han one afternoon to find the binds drawn closed and the room enveloped in darkness. There is a vaguely Lu Han shaped bump under the covers and quiet sniffling.  
  
“Um…” Minseok says.  
  
When Lu Han’s head pops out from under the blankets, he is waving their old No-Kiss List with two new editions, inked in a purple ball point pen. His blond hair is messy and sticking up all over the place, and Minseok sees that Lu Han’s eyes are suspiciously red.  
  
“Do you want to talk about it?” Minseok asks. He tries to sit on the edge of Lu Han’s bed, but thinks better of it halfway, ending up with his ass awkwardly hovering half a foot above the bed. The last time he had sat down on Lu Han’s bed without permission, he’d gotten a bruising kick to the ribs.  
Lu Han lets out a strangled laugh when he sees and reaches out to pull Minseok the rest of the way down. “Just this once,” he says threateningly as he curls himself around Minseok’s back.  
  
(He doesn’t talk about it that day, or the day after that, but Minseok eventually pieces together what happened. Park Chanyeol is the first person to ever reject Lu Han’s advances, and Byun Baekhyun is the reason why.)  


 

 

  
  
The next edition to the list is a silly one in Minseok’s opinion. At the start of their second year of college, Lu Han declares Chinese exchange student Zhang Yixing as his archrival.  
  
“Rival for what?” Minseok asks in exasperation. He had thought Yixing was adorably sweet and was considering maybe asking him out until this happened.  
  
“I’m the most handsome and charming Chinese student on campus,” Lu Han says, picking out a green pen. “I am the exotic one, okay? Who the hell does Yixing think he is to have just one dimple?”  
  
The groan that Minseok lets out is full of exasperation. “You’ve lived in Seoul for most of your life, Lu Han. Just let Yixing be the exotic one.”  
  
It’s too late, because Zhang Yixing is written on the list three times: once in Korean, once in Chinese, and once in English, all underlined.  
  
(Minseok wallows in despair but in the end, doesn’t ask out Zhang Yixing. No one can violate the No-Kiss List.)

 

 

  
  
  
There is one person that Minseok never thought to add to the No-Kiss List, and that person is Kim Jongin. Minseok’s mother gets remarried right after he graduates high school and Jongin is his step-brother, younger by three years.  
  
Lu Han has met Jongin a few times before when they were home on breaks, usually brief introductions and greetings. When Jongin finally gets to college, Minseok agrees to take him out to a party and introduce him to the scene. He loses Jongin when the younger boy disappears onto the dance floor after three or four shots of cheap, flavored Burnett's.  
  
What he does not expect to find is Lu Han pressing Jongin against the banisters of the stairs, mouth pressed hotly against Jongin’s neck, right below his earlobe.  
  
Minseok gets a side view, and he feels his fists clench. Lu Han's eyes are closed as his steps even closer to Jongin, leaving a trail of kisses across his jaw. A moment later, their lips connect in a sinful battle for dominance, Lu Han gripping Jongin's shirt by the collar and using it as leverage to deepen the kiss. Minseok turns away, head spinning. It's hard to blame all the effects on alcohol when he hasn't had a drink in over an hour.  
  
Jongin doesn't say anything when Minseok drops him off at his dorm at the end of the night. Minseok expects an apology, or at least a confession, something along the lines of "hey hyung, I shoved my tongue down your best friend's throat" but he gets nothing. When he gets home, Lu Han is already asleep, sprawled on top of his blankets, mouth hanging unattractively open.  
  
The next morning, Lu Han is first to bring it up.  
  
"You know, I haven't really seen Jongin in a few years but he grew up really well, didn't he? How tall is he? More than 180cm? I never noticed it before but he’s pretty good looking."  
  
Minseok's mouth drops open, because how can Lu Han be so shameless. "I can't believe you kissed him," he bites out.  
  
The smile immediately drops off Lu Han face. He sits up uncertainty, swinging his legs over the side of his bed. "He's not on the list," he says with a little frown.  
  
"He shouldn't have to be," Minseok snaps back. "He's my brother, for god's sake."  
  
When Minseok's tone rises, Lu Han also gets defensive, crossing his arms in front of his chest.  
  
"Step-brother," Lu Han retorts. "You're not even related! I don't get why you're so fucking mad about - "  
  
The rest of Lu Han’s words are lost as Minseok slams the door on his way out.  
  
He spends two nights on Kyungsoo’s futon before he gets kicked out for being too miserable.  
  
“You’re supposed to cheer me up,” Minseok whines, pounding on the door.  
  
Kyungsoo has already dead bolted the door rom the other side. “Go away!”  
  
Minseok gives the door one last kick. “Satan!” he yells in spite, but he gets no response.  
  
With nowhere else to go, he trudges to Jongin’s dorm. He is greeted by a sleepy Jongin at the door, probably because Minseok had interrupted his nap. The room is otherwise empty; Jongin’s roommate must be out.  
  
“Hyung, you’re here! Lu Han called earlier today asking if you were here. Where were you?”  
  
Lu Han called to ask for him? For some reason, that makes Minseok mad too. He studies Jongin from the door way, thinking back to all those years ago when they first met. Jongin had gotten taller, broader around the shoulders. He wore his hair longer than before, falling over dark smoldering eyes. What was it about Jongin that Lu Han liked? Was it the plump, full lips? Or the soft, alluring eyes. Maybe, it was the tall, lean body.  
  
“You kissed Lu Han,” is what he ends up muttering.  
  
Jongin squints at him. “Was I…not supposed to?” he asked carefully.  
  
Minseok ignores Jongin’s words and continues to glare. “You’re not even on the list.”  
  
“What list?”  
  
“I’m going to kiss you too.” The words fly out of Minseok’s mouth before he even processes them and he even surprises himself for a second.  
  
Jongin’s eyes widen. “I’m your brother.”  
  
“Step-brother, not even related,” he corrects, thinking back to Lu Han’s words. “I don’t even know why I’m so mad about Lu Han kissing you when you’re not on the list.”  
  
“What list?” Jongin asks again.  
  
Minseok advances into the room, closing the door after him. “If Lu Han kissed you, then I get to kiss you too,” he says instead.  
  
Jongin gives him a look, unamused but indulgent. “You two are into some weird shit,” he says, making a face.  
  
Bringing a hand up next to Jongin’s shoulder, Minseok traps him against the wall, much like Lu Han had done at the party. He leans in and admires Jongin from up close. Yes, Jongin was attractive. He can see why Lu Han wanted to kiss him. However, as Minseok’s eyes traces down Jongin’s sloping nose to his lips, red and bitten with worry, he realizes that it’s not Jongin who he wants to kiss. It’s Lu Han.  
  
The realization hits hard and Minseok reels back in shock. He wants to kiss Lu Han. His best friend, Lu Han.  
  
(Jongin’s name never ends up getting added to the list and Minseok never does kiss his step-brother. Jongin was right – what would have been some weird shit. Everyone would have not been pleased.)  


 

 

  
  
Lu Han is studying at his desk when Minseok gets back. He jumps up when the door opens, sending a bag of sunflower seeds skidding across this table. The seeds spill out over his desk and onto the floor, but Lu Han’s eyes are fixed at the door.  
  
“I’m sorry,” he says at once, as if expecting Minseok to run away again. “I’m sorry that I kissed Jongin and I promise that I will never do it again.”  
  
“He’s not even on the list,” Minseok says, advancing forward.  
  
Lu Han blinks back at him. “I know that, but I still shouldn’t have done it. He’s your family, even if you aren’t really related.”  
  
Up close, Minseok notices that his best friend has really long eye lashes. They flutter prettily when he blinks, which he does a lot when he’s nervous. Like now.  
  
“You know who else isn’t on the No-Kiss list?” he whispers, eyes flicking from Lu Han’s eyes down to his soft lips. “You.”  
  
He can hear Lu Han’s breath catch as he gasps softly in realization. Minseok pauses, giving Lu Han the chance to push him away if he wanted. When Lu Han doesn’t move, Minseok brings a hand up to Lu Han’s bleached hair, sinking his fingers through the soft strands. Lu Han seemed to lean into his hand, eyes fluttering closed.  
  
Minseok closes the distance between then, taking Lu Han’s bottom lip between his own. The kisses are chaste at first, and Lu Han responds at once, hands resting on Minseok’s hips. When Minseok bites down, Lu Han groans and presses himself closer, swiping his tongue over Minseok’s lips, asking for entrance.  
  
“Should we talk about this?” Lu Han mumbles against his lips.  
  
“Probably,” Minseok breathes. He presses his forehead against Lu Han, pausing for a moment to open his eyes. Lu Han is looking back at him, eyes soft but also full of something much more intense. He looks so absolutely wrecked, with puffy lips from the kissing and messy hair from Minseok’s hands that Minseok can’t help but feel possessive and proud.  
  
“Later?” Lu Han asks, eyes already fixed on Minseok’s lips and starting to lean in again.  
  
“Later,” Minseok agrees.  
  
(They trash the old No-Kiss List that night and come up with a Kiss List instead.  
  
“For the sake of our friendship, these are the only people that we’re allowed to kiss,” Lu Han says with a glint in his eyes, uncapping a pink glitter pen.  
  
Only one entry makes it onto the list. )

  
  
**Minseok and Lu Han’s Kiss List**  
1\. 서로 (each other)


End file.
